MOST RECENT DINNERS
Nigerian Bat Snails
By Casey Johnston
Fearless Gastronaut pioneers Curtiss Calleo and Ben Pauker had a week prior set the controls for the heart of the sun, but upon stepping out of their space egg realized their trajectory had been severely diverted by the superior light of JJ’s diner (which just happened to be directly across the street from their dinner destination, New Jack City?, New Combination!)
“Fine African Cuisine” touted the window sign, and fine it was. And although the Lady who cooked the Goat Head soup had some months back returned to the home land, Lauren would not be let down this birthday by the menu her brave scouts had assembled for the evening’s meal.
Pepper Goat soup announced the heat that would be the predominant spice-theme through the evening. Simmered to spicy perfection, this appetizer was a savory treat.
Fried fish followed in a hot tomato sauce along with Pomos (PO-MOS). Amos (AH-MOS) indicated that the Pomos (cow skin) could compete with Baluts (BAH-LUTS) for grossest shit he’d put in his mouth in a while (the author concurs. marinated bee’s wax at best!)
After a round of “gimme some skins” and “by the skin of my teeths” the Bat Snails made their way to the table. Now, ironically, Bat Snails, as it turns out, are neither bats nor snails. They are, in fact, bike tire chew toys seasoned heavily with heat, and served in abowl.
So by the time the (not)Soup with many Meats arrived, the Heineken was the only thing keeping our tongues from spontaneous combustion. The rum was like fire water, the Edikazko was like spicy knuckle salad and the lighting was like a kmart special on hot summer night. It was time to go.
Curtiss remarked as we were leaving the table that he enjoyed most the “primal flavor” of the evening’s meal. Alex remarked that earlier in the day he was “able to sense that the power grid was stressed”. Katelyn and Brian were great sports about it all, and Gani Odusonya gave us his business card and offered to install windows in our houses.
Sylvester (our gracious host) lead us all in a birthday song for Lauren and prayer, before announcing that he wished us all to join him for his October 27 wedding ceremony!
And so it was that all of these fine foods, friends and fun came together to make the the New Combination the right combination!
By the way, you really need to read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in Pidgin.